GET TO KNOW ASHLEY
Meet The Dreamer Inside
Hi. I'm Ashley, and it is nice to meet you!
I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I am you're here! I want to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about me so you can feel safe while you're here with me.
First of all, you're in good company. I'm an ordinary everyday woman...just. like. you. I'm someone who has chosen the path to healing...just. like. you. I want to share with you my journey knowing that a few of my trials, you've experienced. A few of my challenges, you've experienced. A few of my pains, you've experienced, but most importantly, I know a few of my victories, you've experienced! A few of my successes, you've experienced! A few of my triumphs, you've experienced, and if you haven't yet, my hope is that you will based on what I share with you throughout our time together!
But first, let me tell you about me!
I wear many hats, just like you, and one of the best hats I wear is being the best wife I can be to my wonderful Argentine husband, Guillermo, who has shortened his name because of the gazillion ways it gets chopped up when people try to pronounce it. So, you can call him, G.
We have been married 10 long beautiful years (Babe, are you going to read this? I did add beautiful in my defense 😉).
I will share much more about him and our marriage together later, but one thing I want to make VERY clear right now is my husband is one of the BIGGEST reasons for the progress of my healing. I want to honor him right now by saying, "Words cannot express to you how grateful I am of your love! Thank you for loving me! Your love has and is healing me! I thank God He chose you for me!"
The next hat I wear is such a fun hat! I'm a homeschool mom of 4 beautiful, fun, wonderful, and very boisterous children! They are all 18-20 months apart! Yes! I did say a fun hat, didn't I?! Now you know why!
Bryzon, who is my oldest, says he is "The Engine." He is crazy about trains and informed me that without the engine, our train (our family) would go nowhere. I can definitely say he takes me to new places EVERY DAY!😉 He loves learning new things, reading, and he is my big helper with a big heart!
Next in line is my princess warrior, Aryana. She is very artistic and creative. She loves to paint, color, draw with chalk, and she makes the most amazing creations out of scrap paper and pom-pom string! My husband says, "She's sugar and spice, and everything nice...and a dab of mean." (Or did he say that about me?) Nevertheless, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree!
Ok...so I have to get you ready for who's next in line. Let me just say the WHOLE time I was pregnant, I told my mom, "Mom, this baby is HUGE! He's going to be a BIG ONE!" Kylan was the ONLY baby I had who weighed MORE on his 4-day checkup than he weighed when he was born! Even to this day when Kylan is on the scene, YOU KNOW IT! He loves life to the fullest, and he is a party all by himself! He enjoys everything from dirt, to caterpillars, to playing at the pool, to blocks, trains, and puzzles. He loves EVERYTHING! He keeps this family VERY LIVELY!
Bringing up the rear in this train is my sweet caboose, Baby Austyn. I think he will forever and always have the nickname, Baby. He is loved by every member of this family, and sometimes sheds many tears when he is being loved on by Kylan. Kylan gives him the biggest, wettest, loudest, most FIRM kisses anyone would ever want to get, and it hurts! We tell him all the time, "Baby, love hurts, especially by Kylan!"🤣 Baby loves cars, trucks, and lawnmowers. I'm finding out he loves any toy or real live item that makes a motor sound. He walks around the house all day saying, "Vrrrrrroooooooooommmmmm!" He is SO sweet, and we have all learned the spanish phrase for "sweet baby," and enjoy telling him in our sweet baby voice, "Que dulce nene." In the beginning, he wasn't sure what we were saying to him, you know talking to him in another language (We're all learning spanish because of G), and he would start crying, but now he loves it and shows us he does by flashing his sweet beautiful smile we all love and adore so much! He will forever and always be our "sweet baby!"
And that wraps up our train!
So, you see. My days are full of dirty diapers, potty training, being a referee between older and younger siblings, emptying the dishwasher, trying to stay on top of the never-ending-beast of laundry (Did I say never-ending? Just making sure.), keeping the house clean ENOUGH ( this is my new motto these days), teaching math, reading, spelling to the older children, singing and dancing and making a game out of everything for the younger children, cooking wonderful healthy meals for my family, not to mention being an attentive wife to my husband, being a present daughter to my mother, keeping in touch with my 4 brothers, being a responsive friend to my closest girlfriends, and oh, let us not forget, strengthening my own relationship with God and pouring into myself so that I can get up everyday and BE to all these people in my life, and DO all these things I need to do in my life.
Are you ready to scream?! Yeah, me too some days!
So, let's pause here.
The point I want to make is that I, too, am just an ordinary woman just like you facing the same daily challenges, trials, responsibilities, duties, and roles that many of you face, too. And on top of all of this, if this wasn't enough, you and I have chosen to face the nightmares of our past, accept the reality of our present, and dive deep into healing so we can have a better future. We have made this decision because the place we are at now is torturous, and where we long to be is heaven-like, and we have gotten to a place where the pain of healing is well worth the dare! Hence....my story.
So, amongst the diapers, dirty dishes, homeschooling activities, and cries out to the Lord that I don't want to hurt anymore, my mission and my purpose was birthed, shaped, and clarified to me this year, 2017.
I am suppose to tell my story!
My story of pain, confusion, abandonment, and loneliness. My story of trauma, neglect, and abuse. My story of nightmares, unfulfilled dreams, and rejection. My story of shame. Guilt. Feeling unloved and unwanted. Unworthy. Invisible.
I know. You say, "Wow! Ashley? Her life sounds and looks so perfect! She's married to a wonderful husband, and she has 4 beautiful children, and she is so blessed to be a stay-at-home wife and work from home and be there with her children ALL day! And she's SO beautiful! Ashley feels this way?!?" (Believe me. The life of a stay-at-home mom is not as glamorous as it sounds or you may have heard from your closest friends.)
But that is all you see from the outside. The outside is all you see.
Not knowing that on the inside there are days when I'm dying inside. Hurting inside. Confused inside. Lost inside.
I did mention you were in good company, didn't I?
I don't know where you are on your journey to healing, but wherever you are, I'm inviting you to join me as I continue to press, and I mean PRESS, towards living in JOY, PEACE, and FREEDOM! I'm determined, by the grace of God and the power He gives me, I will live a life free from my past!
And if that is your desire too, then come join me! Join me in the daily decision making we must do to be free! Join me in coming against the conditioning and programming that has happened in our brains because of our experiences! Join me in learning new thoughts of power and developing new emotions that serve us! Join me in creating a new life for ourselves!
And as I prepare to release my first book called "PAINFUL BEGINNINGS," I want you to know that it is the story of my life, and I want my story to be a gift to you.
The reason I call it a gift is because I want it to give you the MOST POWERFUL message I have received for myself on my own path to healing, the message that gave me HOPE.
And that message is...You. Are. Not. Alone.
When I was told, "You're not alone," it somehow was the bridge I needed from what felt like I was living alone on an island with the secret that was causing me to die inside, to the secure mainland where many other women, just like me, were living in their freedom from experiences similar to the same ones I had experienced.
When I safely landed on that bridge, the knowledge that I'm not alone and someone else understands, I started towards my own healing and freedom to a level I have never been before in my life!
When I realized what was happening, that I was healing, I said to myself, "I have to share this message to the world! I have to share what I'm learning to any and everyone who would be willing to listen!"
So, here I am!
So, my prayer is that as you learn about me, my life, and my journey towards healing, you also will grow in your healing. Once you experience a level of healing in an area of your life that has looked hopeless, all of a sudden the most powerful feeling of HOPE swells up from deep inside of you! You start to believe that maybe, just maybe, things can be different. Maybe I can live a life fulfilling and satisfying, on the inside. This feeling is the most life-giving emotion I have ever felt on my journey!
Then a miraculous thing starts to happen without you knowing it! You start living in freedom! Freedom from fear! (Can you imagine that?!) Freedom from anxiety! Freedom from the old YOU! Freedom from your past!
Freedom! True FREEDOM!
That's my hope for you! Come! Come join me! Come join me on this journey towards HEALING, HOPE, and FREEDOM! Let's journey together! Let's journey towards a better future! Let's grab hold to what rightfully belongs to us...LIFE! If God can do it for me, the bible says in Acts 10:34-36 (MSG) "God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you're from...that through Jesus Christ everything is being put together again--well, He's doing it everywhere, among everyone."
Everyone includes YOU! He will do it for YOU! YES! YOU!
My friend, God wants so much more for YOU and for me! Let's journey towards freedom together!
God bless you!